Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Jonah- A Whale of a Story

The story of Jonah might just possibly be your favorite OT story. But maybe not for the reason it should be.

Jonah, it turns out, is wicked satire. This is not so clear in English as most translators seem to miss this and translate it straight- missing the tongue in cheek. Who would expect this kind of writing in sacred scripture? Try readying it as more of a satirical parable, and you'll notice the difference.

Following the heroic "major" prophets, and in the middle of the "minor" prophets,  Jonah is a satirical look at the splendidly absurd life of a prophet. The writer of Jonah probably also wrote for "The Garlic"- a 6th Century BCE predecessor to "The Onion." The book of Jonah actually fits better under The Writings grouping, with Job, Song of Songs, Ecclesiastes, etc.

It's a thankless job-being a prophet. You are no ones friend. Even Yahweh seems not to care what kind of life-threatening,  precarious, miserable existence it is. In fact, if you notice, prophets aren't the most happy, well-adjusted, mentally stable group of people, are they? Elijah and Elisha had serious anger issues. Jeremiah was bi-polar. Ezekiel was simply mad! But then again, most Holy people in all traditions look like this, don't they? After all, the rational mind just doesn't see beneath and beyond.

And the double-bind with prophets is this: If your prophecy is fulfilled, its gonna be doom and gloom- and you get the credit. And if it isn't fulfilled, well then you are a false prophet, aren't you?! Basically, you can't win!

The satire begins with his name- or rather Jonah's father's name, which was Amittai, which means "to be faithful"- so Jonah was the son of faithfulness. He clearly is out to not live up to this name.

If you read the prayer he prays from the belly of the fish closely, you will see it is not so much a cry for help, but a satirical psalm.

I was in trouble and look what you did- threw me into the ocean. I've been thrown away. But I'm worshiping you God! I'm full of thanksgiving!

And Yahweh spoke to the fish and he coughed up Jonah. This was NOT a rescue. Yahweh was going to see to it that Jonah delivered his message-whether Jonah wanted to or not. So much for Free Will!

So Jonah goes to Nineveh,  that great city- and low and behold they listened to the prophet ( has THAT ever happened  before?). Not only that - the King commands everyone to fast and wear sackcloth- EVEN THE ANIMALS!
Gates of Nineveh in Northern Iraq

This impresses Yahweh (I'll bet it was the animals- no PETA around back then to muck things up!)

And of course, Jonah- the prophet of Yahweh- is NOT happy about this. And why should he be? These people are Israels enemies! He gets depressed and wishes to die (or hasn't he been depressed with a death wish, all along? Why else would you ask to be thrown in the ocean?)

So then there's the story about the shade tree (bush), that grows up and then dies.
Lego my fig tree! Oh, wrong story!

And Yahweh mocks him: "Of course you should be angry about the bush- angry enough to die!"

God said, “What’s this? How is it that you can change your feelings from pleasure to anger overnight about a mere shade tree that you did nothing to get? You neither planted nor watered it. It grew up one night and died the next night. So, why can’t I likewise change what I feel about Nineveh from anger to pleasure, this big city of more than 120,000 childlike people who don’t yet know right from wrong, to say nothing of all the innocent animals?” -Jonah 4:10-11 The Message

Assyrians!? Fierce, marauding Assyrians!? Childlike? (You know, first they capture and destroy the Northern Kingdom, before they themselves are overthrown by the Babylonians - so this doesn't last long). 

And right... the poor animals! This from a God who requires burnt offerings!

It doesn't quite come across in the English translations, and we're not expecting satire at this point in the Bible, so we've read this differently and probably missed a really funny read. But then again...





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